10 years is actually really short. I was K1 10 years ago(?) and I still vividly remember myself sucking off a plastic spoon in class and got scolded for being ‘unhygienic’ Yeah well I thought spoons are for sucking? And I remember my friend Stephanie and I pretended to be cooks and used the play stove to fry imaginary eggs and serve our classmates. And how about, building Legos and getting awe-struck by Simon’s Lego creations because he was the most artistic amongst us all? And Keefe, the guy who always wanted ice cold showers. Things really do pass by very quickly. It’s kinda sad they demolished my kindergarten, but since it’s a private kindergarten and not under MOE, I guess it really isn’t MOE’s fault my kindergarten is nonexistent now.
And then we discussed, one year later, which primary school we were going to enroll in. Henry Park, Bukit Panjang, Peihwa. I actually forgot how the last day of kindergarten went but I probably didn’t feel too bitter about it.
It scares me how 10 years just flies like that, if an average person lives to 75 years, then 20% of my life is already over. I haven’t really done anything remarkable, nothing superior. I’ve been very ordinary, blessed with an extraordinary environment of people.
Why live, if you’re not going to do something remarkable?
I believe in this, I really want to do something remarkable and be proud of it at my deathbed.
Life is no game, I realized there isn’t a rewind button. Which also means I’ll never be 5 years old again, which means I’ll never study in a primary school again, only to go back as an alumni if I wished to.
To all those born in 1998 and taking O levels Chinese soon, all the best. We’ve been through so far, primary school honestly wasn’t too far ago.
I’m scared to grow up, really. I want to be a senior, but the responsibility is so scary. I want to go back being a junior, carefree and playful.
Responsibilities. The way you carry it defines who you are.
More and more responsibilities.
We literally live to die, but whether to leave a legacy behind is a choice.
Especially when time flies by so quickly nowadays, I’m even more scared to embrace the future. I want to stop growing up, but what can I do.
I look up to those older than me, and I love the ones younger than me.
It surprises me how sometimes it’s the younger ones who make more sense. I realize, maturing takes away some of the most precious memories of childhood. Immaturity is a blessing, something given for only a limited amount of time before societal norms take over.
I’m afraid. I know I’ve said this for the umpteenth time already, but I just really feel insecure. I know I’m only fifteen, but time should never be underestimated.
What does life have in place for us?
In fact, what is the purpose of living after all? Spending 20% of our lives studying, 60% of our lives working and the last 20% enjoying your last few years in life?
Some things will never have an answer.
Good things end. ( Bad things do, too )
If I could, I would. But I can’t.
I really hope I can find the happiness in life soon enough.
I want to find a purpose to go on, a key to happiness even when engulfed with workload.
A definition in life, that’s something I have to figure out myself.
; 