There’s something I just don’t understand, even though I’ve been thinking about it for the past few weeks. I couldn’t find an answer whatsoever, and it’s really bothering the hell out of me.
I used to believe everything happened for a reason, and a part of me still believes that. I wanted to believe that all happenings had an explanation behind it, I wanted to believe everything was fair.
It’s not fair.
I don’t want to believe anything happens for a reason anymore, it hurts.
I don’t want to trust fate anymore, it’s too painful to accept the truth.
I don’t want to know, for all that I care, what the hell is going on. I can’t hide my tears.
For once I just wanted to disappear, for once I don’t believe in my own abilities to convince myself it’s gonna be okay anymore. It’s not.
I’ve never been struck so hard by anything, definitely completely, unprepared.
I want to wake up and realize it’s all a dream, but it’s not.
All in all, the cuts have found it’s way deep into my soul.
I just want to feel alright again, but now I cannot.
Will I ever have an answer? Presumably not.
I don’t have such an experience, and I never want to ever again.
Can I ever get an answer? I really pray hard.
Even for the slightest bit, I want to know, at least, I hope to know, will you ever understand me?
I can’t hold back anymore, three years ago I already knew this would happen.
Loving you is a painful process I’m too stubborn to give up.
; 