It just can’t get any worse than this.
I’d try to put my feelings into words but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do it. My mind is a roller coaster of feelings, and it’s on a downhill run. I know some great things happened in the past few days, and I am ever so thankful for everyone who has made it a dream come true, but there are some things that cannot be ignored. There are some things I feel like there is a need to address, even though I don’t exactly know how to do that.
Passion. It’s the key to all disappointment. If you didn’t have passion, you wouldn’t be disappointed in anything. It’s something everyone has in different areas, and in a field where everyone with the same passion gathers, it’s called a competition. To determine who is better, whose flame is brighter, and who lasts longer, tougher.
Of course, nothing in this world is fair. There’s bound to be moments of irony that pushes you into a hard decision, a decision of do-or-die, a selfish decision, a decision that will hurt you, and all those who matters to you.
We’ve all had it, the battle between yourself and someone who matters a lot. It feels like either way, you’re part of killing yourself. Yet you have to do it, because cowardice is not respected in today’s society. It’s a constant battle between me, myself and I. It’s a battle between the angel who says give yourself a chance, miracles do happen (and I am sincerely believing that miracles do happen, after Wednesday’s utterly surprising semi-finals) and the demon who always tries to discourage you know it’ll never work out, in the end everything will fail. Nobody stays forever, nothing lasts.
Every day, the voices in my head go through a rough and vicious battle. I don’t know which is winning. I am utterly confused. I don’t know what to do.
Time is running out.
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.
What am I to do? I don’t want to go.
A million thoughts zoom past my mind, I can’t focus on what I want.
Starry starry night, and the sole comfort I have for tonight.
I’d be staring at the stars, and a feeling so strong that I know, out there you’re staring at it too.
It’s the closest way that our hearts could connect, through a beautiful stream of stars on a quiet night.
; 