You were always the stupider friend.
You were always the one getting lesser attention than everyone else.
You were always the one picked on. You shut others out.
You tell everyone it’s fine, it’s okay. You’re screaming you’re okay when tears are streaming down your face. It’s okay. It’s okay. Everything is okay.
It’s okay when their words hurt when they tease you because they’re your captain. It’s okay they don’t respect your feelings because you’re not on the same standing as them. It’s okay that they don’t ever have to understand, because I won’t let them. It’s okay, the metal gate is bolted shut.
It’s okay that you’re always feeling inferior. It’s okay you’re always the one reaching for the helping hand and never the one holding out to help. It’s okay to feel useless, it’s okay to cry over and over and over, repeat process.
It’s okay to let others hurt you. It’s okay to see yourself crumble. It’s okay that all your heartstrings are torn and tattered and your hearts are in bits and pieces on the floor and no one bothers to pick them up for you. Learn to be independent, right?
Learn to suck it up. It’s okay if your heart breaks. No one could ever give two seconds to care about it.
Learn to accept that your definition of screwing up is different from others. Learn to accept that they’ll never be half as screwed as you even when they’ve reached maximum screw up point.
If you repeat a lie enough, it turns to politics and religion.
It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.
It’s just an event of hitting rock bottom, mine has no cushion to support my fall.
; 