Month: October 2015

Oh, how I saw you in the world
Young and free
As the young should be

And we, we saw everything through glass
Sapphire blue, colouring of you
And every, every cloud was silver and
Even we liked, up in time

And it seems, seems you were unreal
you disappeared
Over the years

Oh,
I don’t know
Even when I see you again
Though I try, Yes I try
To remember you as the kid I knew
And you seem, yes you seem, oh, like some stranger I met in a dream
And I don’t want to know, whatever’s seen about what you think of me

And how, how we drive out to the cliffs
To redwood trees and feel the ocean breeze
Where you, you threw confetti over the edge
Just to see bright colours over the sea
And then, then you’d have me sit and drink
And Watch the lights and left with you all night
And you, you were so filled with our tears
Never wrong
But I’ve been and gone too long

Oh,
I don’t know
Even when I see you again
Though I try, Yes I try
To remember you as the kid I knew
And you seem, yes you seem, oh, like some stranger I met in a dream
And I don’t want to know, whatever’s seen

Brother, Oh
What have we, what have we become
Brother, Oh
What have we, what have we become
Brother, Oh
What have we, what have we become
Brother, Oh
What have we, what have we become

Oh,
I don’t know
Even when I see you again
Though I try, Yes I try
To remember you as the kid I knew
But we seem, yes we seem, oh, like two strangers that met in a dream
And I don’t want to know, whatever’s seen
No I don’t want to know, whatever’s seen
No I don’t want to know, whatever’s seen about what we’ve come to be

Song by Sea Wolf

So it’s been 5 years, whether we like it or not. Whether we stepped into this school wondering how we will ever survive another 6 years after completing 6 years of primary school, our last year is imminent. We’re doomed, we’re blessed. We’ll finally be liberated from the stupid school rules that governs everything including our hair.

But personally, this year is special for me. This year is the first year I’ve ever taken up any significant leadership roles and even though I have a lot to improve on, at least I hope to say that I didn’t majorly screw up.

Being a chairperson opened myself to many new opportunities, including being part of the organizing committee of Y.LEAD seminar as well as the Year 6 Graduation. It’s tiring, and it hurts in ways people who has never done it will never understand. But at the same time, it’s rewarding. I’m thankful for everything I had that others did not get a chance to experience.

For one thing, ordering the balloons and being in charge of the Year 6 Graduation was no mean feat. Everything was so last minute and rushed. I had to go to school at 6am to collect the delivery on the day itself and I’ve never been good at decorations. So it was really heartwarming to see the Year 6s playing with the balloons because well, it meant that they enjoyed it.

I couldn’t do it without my class. Without my class there would be no point in being a chairperson. And I want to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart for being with me this entire year even though I know I am definitely not the best chairperson ever. I want to apologize, for all the potential mood swings that some of you have undoubtedly experienced from me throughout this year because I am a temperamental bitch who can’t control my angst at times. So thank you so much, and I am sincerely apologetic.

Sandy: From the moment I knew you were going to be classmates with me my first reaction was to laugh. We’re so fated to be in the same badminton team and neighboring classes for the past 4 years and this year we finally got to be in the same class even though I ironically quit badminton. I guess that’s why we got put into the same Project Work group, to make up for the loss of me quitting badminton. Nonetheless you are one of my biggest blessing in this class and thank you for putting up with all my nonsense at times and for being there for me when I needed it the most. Even though you say that I was there for you in year 1 when you had your share of nonsense, I am still nonetheless extremely grateful for everything you have done for me this year. I know this year hasn’t been a good year for you academically, but work harder, you’ll get there.

Desiree: Now that I think of it, we’re going to be classmates for 5 years out of the 6 years we have in RV. I still remember how I perceived you as such a warm and approachable girl in year 1 and you’ve been very nice throughout this year even though we haven’t had much conversation this year. Thank you for being my classmate, and sharing the exact same subject combination as I do.

Dilys: You are such a perfectionist, the whole class has faith in your statements. Undoubtedly whenever there is any uncertainty in class you would be one of the first people we would approach. Thank you for your contributions, thank you for taking note of the slightest details that majority of us wouldn’t bother to care. Thank you for reminding us to hand in homework even if we don’t, and thank you for being a very responsible Literature rep even though we give you a lot of trouble. Good luck with all your commitments, I know you’ll go far. If anything, you may just as well be the most dependable person in 5K/6K. Thank you for being in this class.

Heng Wan: I didn’t really notice your existence until we became Project Work group mates. Admittedly initially I thought you were a very lazy person and I had my doubts on working with you especially when Ms Lee would always be chasing you for your EoM. I am so thankful to be proven wrong during the WR period, because you are so stable and so committed to the report when everyone else seems to be distracted. Thank you for your late nights, thank you for the 4am submissions. Thank you for not giving up and holding in your angst at times because of us. If anything, I respect your determination and your concentration because the things you do and the things you tell me have changed my initial impression of you completely.

Samantha: You are the most special, the most selfless person 5K can ever hope for. You’ll always think for others before yourself and you go to such lengths for the class at times that you neglect yourself. Thank you for being the only one from 4P who followed me to 5K, thank you for everything we had as classmates, and as non-classmates. I apologize for all the hurt I have caused you throughout the year, and I trust that your grades can become so much better than it is now. Smile, but don’t overdo it. Your inner self is much more beautiful than you think it is.

Meng Yen: Our class photographer, thank you for all the pictures you’ve snapped for us whether for formal memories or just to annoy the crap out of us. It is your pictures that brings my 5K memories a lot more alive than my previous classes because you bother to put our memories into pictures. Don’t give up on your passion, work hard, and everything will turn out just fine. Thank you for painting a beautiful picture for 5K.

Si Ling: You are possibly the most eccentric girl I have ever had as a classmate. Admittedly I thought you were going to be very annoying at first but actually you are really really cute in your own ways. From the way you would swear and the way you don’t know how to use Whatsapp, you have brought us a lot more joy unintentionally with your stupid remarks and actions. Thank you for making me feel comforted about my height and I know that you’ll go to greater lengths in life than your physical vertical length. Thank you, I appreciate your presence in 5K.

Rebecca: I’ve always known your existence ever since year 1 but this is my first year coming into personal contact with you. Thank you for your carefree attitude and your cheerfulness in lessons. Even though you rebel me a lot but I know that you don’t mean it (so you better listen to me in class next year) and you have actually brought me quite a bit of joy this year without intending to. Also, I personally think you are the prettiest girl in class but no, that is not a compliment. Thank you for being a part of 5K this year.

Yi Xuan: The black kid. You are super intelligent even though you play a lot. I don’t have a lot of interaction with you this year but I’m sure you have brought many good memories to this class. Thank you for always having a smile on your face and being a part of this class.

Jia Qi: Initially I thought you were shy but now I think that you are really really cute in your own ways. From the way you would tolerate Siling’s incessant rubbish (in a good way) and your unintentional but extremely hilarious remarks to your adorable Dumbo tsum tsum you have on your bag, I would say that it’s been a very good year with you around. Thank you for being a part of 5K.

Ting Yu: Thank you for being a very nice person to stand with during morning assemblies and science practicals. You are a very nice person to talk to and all the stupid things we did together in Chemistry and Physics Practicals, well it’s made my Prac journey a better one this year. Thank you for being a part of 5K.

Jiahui: You are the ultimate selfie queen of this class. How do you get so confident of yourself? Thank you for all the hugs you have given me whether I needed it or you were just being sticky. You’re someone I can always look for when I need someone to talk to because you’re so open to everything. Thank you for being such a cheerful classmate, you have made my life a lot better in 5K.

Yuhan: You are so innocent and excited about almost everything. It’s nice to see someone as enthusiastic as you when most of us have grown tired of life. You’re always bubbling with energy, maybe that’s why you don’t ever have to take energy drinks. Ha ha.

Weiyi: My fellow partner, thank you for enduring this year with me. It’s not been easy for us as chairpersons, especially when we have very different characters. You’re always the one initiating class parties and chalets, while I prefer to do more administrative work. We complement each other perfectly, and I have no regrets walking this journey with you. Thank you for being a part of 5K, and working with me throughout this whole year even though we started off as strangers.

Javier: You’re a very nice person to work with, now that I have the opportunity to work with you for Project Work. You’re very reliable when it comes to handling things which is a rare trait to me in boys. You’re always sleeping in class. Please wake up and don’t sleep so much next year. Thank you for being a part of 5K.

Tze Ann: Well, what can I say? Your family is the most interesting family I have ever come to know of and your life is so damn full of accidents. Pain is indeed your best ally. Regardless, you are a very nice person to talk to and it’s been a good year teasing you even though by now I hope that you know I don’t mean it. Thank you for being a part of 5K, and we’ll always be there for you next year.

Tommy: I will never understand how you do it. For someone who sleeps so damn much in class, your rank points are ridiculously high. Thank you for being the brains of this class, for making us look more like a smart aleck class even though we know better than that. Thank you for being a part of 5K.

Yuchen: The gentle giant. Thank you for being my tablemate and helping me with Chemistry which still doesn’t click for me. It’s been a good year with you around, thank you for being a part of 5K.

I apologize if I do not write as much for some of you, but please know that every single one of you mean a lot to this class.

Thank you for making 2015 an enjoyable year for me.

10 years ago it didn’t have to be this way.

It didn’t have to be me tripping over the stairs to the canteen on my first day of primary school.

I didn’t have to have relatively higher IQ.

I didn’t have to look down on those who didn’t do as well,

I didn’t have to come up with those nonchalant and insensitive Facebook posts.

It didn’t have to turn out this way.

My PSLE score didn’t have to be 254.

I didn’t have to go to this school,

I didn’t need to take every breath I took.

But it’s a choice, it’s a choice regardless foolish or smart.

Regardless stupid or clever, I am here.

This is where I stand.

I don’t have to be slaving for Project Work.

I don’t have to be having my heart torn apart.

I don’t have to be confused,

To be tired,

To ask myself again, and again,

Why are you doing this?

It didn’t have to be this way.

It could really all have been a lot

Simpler.

Sometimes it’s not the irritation

But the obligation

That slowly kills from

Inside out.
It’s the desperation

The moment

When I break down

When my knees scrape the ground.
My dreams are haunted

By your presence

It’s like poison 

It’s sensation.
Liberation

Comes at a cost

It’s like fire

It’s like a storm.

I know you are so much more than this.

I know you are so much more than the laughter and sarcasm, so much more than the cheerfulness and the excitement.

I know.

It’s nearing a whole year since everything “officially” happened though I’m sure it has already been more than a year “unofficial”. I’m thankful for everything that has happened in between including the harshest storms and the coldest nights, because at the end of it all I know by a miracle or not the sun will rise again. I’m thankful for the dreadful agreement I made that somehow brought you to me because it is really a blessing in disguise and I’m thankful for all the wrong paths we took that eventually made sense now that we look back at the past one year.

I congratulate myself for having seen something others did not – something that is precious beyond words to describe.

I celebrate myself for being weak when I should not – we overcame a distance we never thought we would walk.

You have a twinkle in your eyes that illuminates me. Your sincerity to me makes me understand how it is at all possible to trust someone wholeheartedly. You’re like a filament that never stops glowing – even when your flame is put off there is a spark still struggling to ignite again. Everything is crystal clear around you, even when it’s a muffled mess. Everything falls into place perfectly even when nothing is going our way.

You’re the brightest star that never shone in public. You’re a burning flame concealed in layers and layers of protection.

I’ve never been so captivated in my life.

Please, stay this way.