Sometimes you win and other times you lose.
You’ll win battles you fight hard for but you’ll also lose battles you told yourself never to lose.
I told myself I’ll never lose this, I told myself I’ll never lose you. I believed you so easily when you told me you’d never leave, and I believed everything you told me that I wanted to hear. I abused the promises thinking that promises would last, but I did abuse it after all.
Still, I do not understand the sudden change that unfolded in front of my very eyes, shattering me completely without any backup plan.
It is extremely painful to see that we became everything we promised we wouldn’t be, but even more painful to pretend everything is okay in front of you.
I am blessed with people around me who care about my wellbeing and I am happier around people, yet the gnawing feeling in my heart does not fade. It does not fade because things ended so abruptly, and I wonder how much is unsaid between us.
You’ve seemingly deleted our past with one swift, painless removal of your online diary, something I will never comprehend, something I find it hard to believe. I do not know why it is done, nor do I know what hateful thoughts that have gone through your mind, and the minds of those who care.
Somehow I have not lost hope, but just reaching out in a different approach. I have not lost faith, just storing them away to be used again.
I believed in us, and I believed in everything we said we would be.
I tried so hard to keep you by my side, but instead I drove you away.
I miss you more than ever, although the physical pain is slightly less overwhelming.
If you ever love someone, set them free. If they are yours, they will return eventually.
I have done you wrong but never with wicked intentions, only selfish ones.
I hope you are happy, and I hope you will find solitude again.
I hope you find someone who truly makes you happy, if the person cannot be me.
I hope you are able to cope with work, and your friendships.
I hope you miss me, as much as I miss you.
I hope you shed your tears for some someone worth it, like how I would shed mine for you.
I hope you’ll find love that’s worth the pain, and I hope you will have a happily ever after.
I hope for you to come back, but only if you truly want to.
I miss you more than I have ever missed anyone else, it makes me feel more human than I have ever felt.
You are free to go, darling.
Be happy. That is all I want you to be.
I love you.
; 