I am at a loss of what to say because my internal mind is in a mess. I realize I am quite a screwed up person and my mentality when viewing certain things are extremely corrupted and morally incorrect. I think that by not speaking your thoughts, you are able to avoid some of the troubles, but eventually people may read you over time.
I do not understand how all these is making such an influence on me, and the need to self-reflect is real. My pride is in the way and it is not convinced why I should take the first step to apologize for something I do not think I did wrong. Do we sometimes really need to give up on our pride just to salvage a relationship that matters to you? What will be the outcome, and is it worth sacrificing my pride for something I’m not even certain in?
I am heavily oppressed by the different opinions people have on the same matter, and how different people react differently to the same situation. There are things that I certainly do not agree to, yet sometimes it seems that the whole world does not share the same opinion as me. I fight a battle of practicality against liberty, the line between independence and heartlessness is so fine you need a microscope to see it.
Variety. It’s necessary but quite scary. You digest everyone’s two cents and learn about their take on different aspects of life, and then you must decide whose opinions and suggestions you want to keep and whose is better to discard to the back or your mind. Not everyone is mean and cruel but even then the nicest people sometimes do not give the best advices. Sometimes you need a hard blow, an extremely blunt statement of ugly truth to really acknowledge that your pride is not everything. Not everyone is gentle and tender in the ways they love, but everyone loves with a common desire for a change for the better. Understand how they love, and love them back to the same extent that they loved you.
There is no outcome when there is null imput. How can you expect things to remain as it is without consistent effort and dedication? How can there only be talk but no action? What you think is trivial and practically useless if they are not converted into action.
I do not enjoy inconsistency but I shall acknowledge the things that I cannot and will never have. However, since thoughts mean nothing until they are delivered, then let my thoughts wander free in this vast universe of my mind.
I am a dreamer by nature, forced into harsh practicality under the pressure of inescapable reality.
Let me dream on, please. I have somehow downloaded corrupted reality into my dreams, but I want to dream pure again.
; 