At 1.35am, the subconscious mind demands to be alive and refuses all forms of attempts to sleep. It is confused and perplexed over the meaning of life, and the purpose it is here to serve. The mind wants to know why their human is programmed into this particular bed she is sleeping in, which in turn is being situated in this very apartment, which in turn is located in this very region of this particular (very) small country, out of all the continents of this particular world.
The mind wants to know why the ultra-fine line between life and death is that last crucial breath, or the Chinese like to call it, 气. It is as miraculous as it is tragic, how the absence of one breath can take a life away in entirety. Every day, a human takes in so many breaths, yet none of them can be undermined. Every single breath out of the millions we take is absolutely vital, every single breath is a challenge between life and death.
The mind wants to know what is jealousy, and the toxicity it results in. We all have things no one else owns, yet our endless pursuit for the “better” destroys relationships and crushes hopes. The mind is sometimes jealous of another human being, regardless be it for their wealth, their brains, or their looks. The mind wants things we do not, and sometimes cannot have. The mind wants to possess sometimes not only its own human, but the physical and emotional aspects of other humans too.
Sometimes, two minds meet and intertwine for a while, and unexchanged secrets are exchanged. Thereafter, the mind may feel intruded and violated, and the mind may shut other willing minds out from conversation and social exchange.
The mind does not understand the heart, for its stubbornness and stupidity. The mind has every reason to move on, yet the heart claims again and again, “Let’s try again”, until the human is so bruised and so broken that they are forced to move on. The mind will then blame the heart, but the heart still beats on tirelessly and optimistically despite experiencing excruciating pain. The heart is the biggest optimist, it never gives up even when the mind has long taken its leave.
The mind wants to intertwine with your mind, but will your heart accept it?
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