Today, I wished I did not exist, more than I had ever wished to. The thought of ending it all peaked to a new level of high, inversely proportionate to my plunging self-respect and esteem.
Evil, corrupted, fake and undeserving.
I don’t recognize the monster in the mirror. I don’t recognize the words it speaks, the pain it inflicts on everyone around it. Devil. A devil’s possession perhaps finally exposed to its sins.
All too familiar. First, the reddening of the face. Next, the cracking in the voice. Third, the shrinking away from me, and last, a cry no one else has seen, telling me to go away.
What’s new? Happiness, praise, disappointment, hurt, and pain. Repeat process over and over again. It’s why I’ve now shut up, it’s why I never expressed how I felt despite all the pain. Not to you, never to you.
Two kills in one day. Clank. Thump. Thump. Let my blood be the rain that cleanses the pain.
Never in my life has a monster appeared so close, so close that it exists within the very depths of this soul.
Annihilate.
A mind which is jealous, a heart that is tarred. Hands that only know damage, a mouth that only scars.
Go, off you go. Useless, wretched, bastard.
I shall never see you again, until you remove your mask.
; 