Today, I speak louder and I stand higher than I ever stood on moral ground. I am confident. I am courageous. I am brave.
I am a survivor of a heartbreak, the torn and tattered remains of a relationship gone wrong. It is very true that you will never understand the degree of emotional trauma and pain someone else is going through during a breakup, until you actually experience it for yourself.
I thought, I thought everything would turn out fine. A few quarrels and bickering here and there, normal, right?
No. It became worse, and it took a huge toll on my studies and my emotional health. Never in my life have I ever been on the list of subpar students, and this year after all that emotional trauma I find myself landing somewhere I’ve never been, lower than I’ve ever gone to. Somewhere I don’t think I deserve to be.
It took 6 months for me to get back to full recovery, and even then the story is not over. I would consistently lie to myself and the people around me that everything is fine, even when deep down I know the hole is not fully patched. Secretly, I knew that I had much to be sorry for to those around me who didn’t hurt me, who cared for me, but I never got down to saying sorry just because I didn’t think they would understand why I would be sorry for, even though the reasons themselves were crystal clear to me.
The truth is, we push away the people that want to be there for us while we chase those that we want (who most of the time are usually not there for us). We tend to forget to stop and think how each and every individual’s act of kindness, down to the very minute details of even striking a conversation with us is a blessing that should not be forgotten. After all, everything begins with a single “hello”, but not everything ends off with a bittersweet “goodbye”.
Trust me, little actions convey a lot of meanings. Learn to read between the lines, listen beyond the words and see ahead of the actions. Every single movement tells a story, and every single word counts.
Today, I am stronger than I was yesterday, and ever before. I will fight you with my patience and my peace, my laughter and my happiness, and I will embrace the coldness you hurl at me out of your pained soul with my newfound warmth.
I will never forget the happy moments, but I will forgive your wrongs. I don’t blame you, it’s not exactly your fault, but I want nothing to do with you that hurts me anymore.
Come at me with your spears, if you wish, I will stay rooted, I will stay firm, I will be victorious.
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