There are nights when my eyes won’t sleep. Nights when these thoughts prick and pry at my insecurities, bugging me to succumb to my failures.
There are certain reminders I don’t ever need, certain contacts I’d rather lose. Certain photos I wish I never saw, certain names I wish I never came across again. Certain memories I cannot seem to erase.
I wonder what thoughts went on through your mind. Perhaps, they didn’t race through yours like they raced through mine. Perhaps, you never did open the letter. My words can only travel as far as the paper that meets the eye. And you, you were never afraid to deny.
It’s been a long time since you crossed my mind. I’ve been very busy with my life – and hopefully you are with yours too. I live with the reassurance that you have forgotten me, and know that once I have completely exited your life, so will you, mine. The long train rides every morning take me right by your side, and in a flash I am gone, leaving nothing but your building behind. These empires of mine will see better times, the cataclysmic wreckage of the past year will be left behind.
————————————————————–
And for you, I still sleep with banana every night. I never threw away anything you gave me, sometimes I still wear your t-shirts at night. Perhaps it was because I’m lazy, but I never finished the chocolate cereal bars you gave me on my birthday. I still keep the scrap book because that’s what you were known for making, but you don’t hurt a single bit anymore.
We used to cling on to each other for life, but now we are absolutely unnecessary and unwanted to each other.
Let’s keep it this way, and I hope we never see or hear from each other again.
We took away each other’s firsts, but I am glad we will never be each other’s last.
—————————————————————–
These are the nights when my eyes won’t sleep.
; 