My schedule has never been this tight.
Gone were the days where I could look forward to an early dismissal Tuesday, or a TGIF Friday even though it meant that I had to stay back for extra literature classes. Gone were the days where school was a 15 minute walk from home, and now every single day is a 1 hour 45 minute train/bus/walk. To and fro.
There are plenty of mixed emotions to be here, and to be very honest the amount of allowance I’m getting per month is in my own opinion much too less for the emotional trauma I am going through inside here. There are too many things I cannot say, too many opinions I must think through ever so thoroughly before voicing out, and frankly I feel like I’m constantly being put under surveillance – although this is very much inevitable considering the work environment. I have never conformed so much, and it doesn’t help that here your mouth is better kept shut than open. One wrong word, and your whole reputation is gone.
Nonetheless, I am grateful to have been given a chance to see the much harsher side of societal reality. I am heartened to know that these people are capable of love and compassion, and would give anything to start again. My personal heartbreak is nothing compared to theirs, and their strength in conquering their inner demons is something I don’t think I can ever imagine myself doing (Not that I want to). There are some things here I must do that seriously goes against my choice, but I have figured out that many of the harder decisions are emotional obligations – even to the permanent staff.
This place can be a cold dungeon, but it can also be a warm place. The staff are genuinely nice, some I even relate to on a personal level, and I learn about their personal troubles working here too. Some you’d never expect to take on a job here, and some you wonder if they are made out of steel.
Nonetheless, three months ought to be good enough for a brief glimpse into the path that most would rather not venture in, there are the good, bad, and ugly – but this is society and not everywhere is all smiles.
; 