it’s the little things that matter the most to me. it’s the little things that i can trust. it’s the little things that you confide in me, embarrassing conversations and wild ideas, 1am insomniac thoughts that make everything so wholesome, so meaningful, so complete.
it’s the “how are you?” message i receive at 1.02am, from someone i haven’t seen for very long, that reminds me that hearts do connect even with the barrier of distance. that i can feel something solid, something physical, something genuinely sincere even over a telegram conversation. from someone whom i haven’t seen in nearly a year telling me the secrets that bother her at night, that i know that distance is nothing when two hearts connect.
i’ve never felt that i’m the right person to consult when it comes to relationships. i’m not good with my own emotions; i feel too much, or too little, finding the optimum point of balance is something i have always struggled with even up to now. i’m no good at telling my heart what it should feel. when reason clashes with sentiment, i’m almost always at a complete loss for what to do. i feel bizarre and erratic. i feel everything or nothing at all.
but i am lucky. i am beyond lucky, sensationally blessed with friends nothing less than magical. their words of affirmation, random text messages to update on the little and bigger things, sharing things they enjoy, asking if i’m okay, affectionate diction. the little things. it’s always the little things that are the worthiest of attention.
and you convince me that i am worthy of being loved. your love is so gentle, so meticulous and delicate. your words like a sacred sanctuary of calmness and peace, and i am eloquent because of you. yet, you are the masterpiece i can never write. writing about you has involved thousands of backspacing, hundreds of deleted drafts. and so, i’m convinced that i can never encapsulate your essence in any form of literature that i may write. but i write, because you feed me love so powerful, because you exist.
you are fire;
powerful enough to burn me
gentle enough to warm me
deep enough to save me.
; 