Towards the end of every year, I am reminded that things rapidly change; how people come and go, how you adopt a completely different routine, how new things come and old things go.
This year was groundbreaking in terms of change. This year, I say goodbye to mandatory school uniforms and stringent timetable schedules. I say goodbye to a fixed group of classmates, and hello to hostel life. Old acquaintances become newfound friends, age is no longer that big of a deal because virtually everyone I know is older than me. I learn new skills as my age hits the legal baseline for doing certain things, I gain greater independence and experience doing things on my own. I socialise with brand new people, and realise that closeness is not about how long you’ve known each other, but how well your hearts connect. I finally broaden my extremely limited cultural circle after being stuck the past 19 years of my life socialising and interacting with people solely of Chinese ethnicity, of my own kind, and started to understand and appreciate people of other races and ethnicities.
I have so much to be thankful for in the short course of one year. A year ago, I would never have dared to imagine the magnitude of change that I was about to face in the next 365 days. During this period of time, I have gained working and internship experience, an eye-opening experience for a freshly graduated college student. I have experienced the unfairness of the work force, and how unprotected and wild society can be. I have done part time tutoring, and it felt surreal that I was on the teaching end instead of the end where I was being taught, as was the case just one year ago. It felt surreal to be addressed as “teacher”, and to be responsible for someone else’s grades when a year ago I struggled to be responsible for my own. It was almost unbelievable when I received a Teacher’s Day present from one of my students. I have feared, endured, and survived ‘A’ level results day, one of the most horrifying days that one can ever anticipate. I have once feared that I will never be able to make it to University, but today I look back at my past and am grateful that I have pulled through and survived the ordeal. I experience a brand new schooling experience, a campus so big that shuttle buses are required to transport students from class to class. Many students drive, and there are so many carparks available. There are abundant food choices, ridiculous sport facilities, and freedom beyond my wildest imagination. They say that University is the best time to mingle and socialise, to meet new people. I couldn’t agree more. For me, staying on campus is almost a necessary aspect of completing the University experience. It’s given me so much to look forward to, so much convenience, so much to love and a very special someone.
I am in a new relationship, and in many aspects I am heartened to see myself becoming a better partner. My first has taught me things I should never do, and to never settle. The good thing about having your heart broken once is that you know the signs of what to do, and what to avoid. In this aspect, my first heartbreak was a blessing in disguise for someone much better, a relationship much healthier. I couldn’t be happier.
I have new friends and we do things that could never have been done a year ago. Late night suppers and drink sessions, 3am confessions and impromptu dinners and lunches. The good thing is that everyone is willing to talk, but the bad thing is that you’ll never know where you stand in different people’s lives because everyone has too many friends; you don’t want to treat them as too close, if they aren’t willing to reciprocate and do the same for you.
Everything is still somewhat new, and will take more time to sink in. Right now, I just wanted to take a moment to be grateful for these changes, and to give myself a pat on the back for doing more than just surviving these changes; I have sailed the waves, and in my own opinion have done quite an excellent job with coping with all these changes.
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