At night, I crawl into bed tired. I’ve had a long and tiring day; my eyes are closing, my limbs are sore. Somewhere deep within, my heart is aching from the insensitive remarks that others have made; careless words like weightless pieces of paper tossed into thin air, leaving behind paper cuts everywhere.
I watch you stare intently at your computer screen, your brows slightly furrow and you gaze fixedly at small, inconspicuous black words on the screen; you blink, and then you yawn, and then you turn around and smile at me. I love the way you smile, like the rainbow after thundery showers, like fresh laundry after a sweaty game, like 11am coffee on a carefree Friday morning.
I shut my iPad down after the last few pages of readings. Sometimes, I think ancient writers are too verbose. I just read a sixteen page document which I could easily have summarised into two, with language much too archaic, vocabulary much too formal for today’s casual context. I climb into bed, and a few moments later I feel the warmth of your skin against mine, your fingers tracing circles on the nape of my neck. I turn around to face you, and the next moment my eyes gaze into yours and I am completely lost in them; I close my eyes and you close yours, and then our lips meet. And they intertwine, over and over again.
Time flies, and unknowingly we both drift off to sleep. Falling asleep is like succumbing to an itching temptation; initially you protest, but suddenly you give in, and you give in all at once that when I wake up at 3am, I wonder how I ever fell asleep in the first place. I turn around and watch you sleep. Your eyes don’t close completely, but your brows are relaxed peacefully. Your chest gently rises up and down, and then suddenly your lips twitch. I trace my fingers across them, feeling the softness of your skin, the warmth of your breath. You stir, and then your eyes open midway as you battle with the drowsiness of sleep. You ask me what time it is; there’s still plenty of time left to sleep.
In the morning, I leave the room alone because I have a morning class, while you are still lying in bed. I kiss your forehead before I go. The rays of sunlight shine on you when I open the door; radiance, just like how you are radiance in my life. And then, I gently close the door behind me, catching the last glimpse of you before we are separated by a thick sheet of wood.
Then I turn away, and leave.
But I know that I’ll be coming back to you tonight again, soon.
; 