A Million Dreams

Live, to feel. Feel, to live. Emotions, they make or break you; they build you or they crumble you. To feel, is the biggest gift there is to living. Do not be afraid, my dear, do not be afraid to feel; do not be afraid to fall, darling, because one day, one day you will soar.

I have been told that I am a walking heart. I feel deeply, I love tremendously, I hurt devastatingly; but I am brutally authentic, painstakingly genuine, and I am fearlessly unapologetic for who I am.

Yes, there are times when I think too much; such is the inevitable. Yes, there are times when I crumble and hit rock bottom, heart and dreams completely shattered. There are times when I am blinded by darkness, unable to find the light, groping around helplessly as I bleed, encapsulated by desertion and despair.

Little do you know, that these build up to better things. Little do you know, the most crippling heartaches create the most euphoric hallelujah; little do you know, those once blinded now see the brightest of light. Little do you know, darling, your struggles will not go to waste.

I want you to be brave, be bold, be fearless. I want you to dare to feel, to immerse, to absorb all the raw emotions. They may break you, my love, but it is my greatest faith that you will heal and rise again.

Be unapologetic, be firm, be rooted. You are a rare soul, a true gem, an angel sent from above. Not everyone will appreciate you, and some might detest you; but my love, you must always remember that you will be loved deeply, and this love will completely annihilate all your doubts, regrets, and scars. Be patient, keep the faith, and you will be rewarded.

Next time, don’t let anyone tell you that you feel too much. Never treat your loving, raw, beating heart as a flaw or imperfection that needs to be corrected or rectified. Be confident, my love, be bold. You are perfection in your own beautiful way; you are priceless, you are unique, and above all, you are only human.

Be patient, and keep the faith.

I Still Do

Three years ago, you stopped talking to me. I received no explanation, I watched you leave; slowly, but surely.

I want you to know that I still think of you. How can I ever forget you? We’ve had so many memories together—the good, the bad, and the ugly—you’ve seen so much of me; and I, you.

I want you to know that I still care for you. How can I stop? Even though I don’t know what you’re up to any longer, I don’t receive updates from your social media, I want you to know that if you ever reach out to me again, I will be there for you.

I have slowly come to accept that I am not going to receive answers to my questions I have for you; I have come to respect that these are answers you do not want to provide me with.

Still, I have always remembered you. I have walked out of one of the most difficult periods of my life, and I will never forget how I would never have done it without you.

I write this not to seek you; I write this to celebrate you, to remember you.

I write this to remind myself, I still do care for you. There are many things I’d like to leave behind in the past; but you, I’d like to carry my memory of you with me forever.