If I were light;
I would shine on you,
And be your shadow.
Calm, unnoticed.
If I were darkness;
I would reflect on you,
Your scars, painful past.
Pain, unnoticed.
If I were pain;
I would feel neglected,
You reject me.
Strong, brave, unnoticed.
If I were love;
I would be full of you,
Mysterious.
Passion, unnoticed.
If I could, I would;
Defy the laws of time.
Then don’t,
Leave.
If I knew, I should;
Give up on my life.
There is no,
Purpose.
If only, if only;
A dream surreal.
Don’t tell me,
I can’t feel.
If you ever try;
To let me know.
Give up now,
I will blow.
I do believe everyone is bipolar to an extent. In fact, we are so bipolar I don’t think we should be called “fake” anymore. “Fakeness” is something that we have come to adapt to, something we have come to accept as a happening in everyday life. I mean, everyone is different and it should only be right that everyone be treated the way they wanted to…. even if it means to be different to them.
At the end of the day, if they never find out that we are merely putting on a show, isn’t their happiness still true? We could be deceived but if the deceiving happiness lasts, then why shouldn’t it? Then, is it considered true happiness? You were truly happy, before you found out you were lied to, right?
Why do people seek the truth? What is the value in truth? Isn’t there something better, something more worth than knowing the truth? And why is it that people break down after finally knowing it? Why do you push for something you know that will break your heart? If it’s meant to be known to you, you will be informed of it anyway. Why push it? Why push for something that doesn’t bring you happiness? You know why. Don’t you?
We all play hard to get, desiring the things we can’t get. We don’t cherish it anymore when we get it. When we lose it we start realizing how much it meant to us again. Humans work in a funny way. This is the beauty of flawed opinions. Naivety.
As this post turns into a rant, a reflection of my blurred thoughts, my unclear desires. What do I want? What can I get? How far should I push the limits? Will I make a change? Am I worth the wait?
Some questions are not meant to be answered, some answers are carried to our graves. Somehow, regardless of 7 billion people on the planet, sometimes you are the only person you can fully trust. Nobody owes you anything. Yet, some things cannot be made known to anyone else. 7 billion people and you can’t find anyone to trust your most private matters to.
Keep it cool, the storm will be over. Soon. Maybe not. I doubt. Never.
Ever.
She was anything but predictable;
She was anything but tough.
Hidden all her life,
The scars she has to hide.
If anything, she was afraid;
Above all, she needed strength.
Some unspeakable secrets,
Shut her mind.
Impenetrable;
A dark side never crossed.
You wouldn’t want to trespass,
Even thought she invites you to.
Falling for you;
Something inevitable.
If you saw the scars,
Could you change her?
Some secrets are dark;
Even dangerous.
Don’t you spill a word,
The world will turn against you.
Some secrets are deadly;
Even engulfing.
Drowning in your own poison,
You can’t let anybody see.
Most secrets are shameful;
Even sinful.
Afraid of the consequences,
You’d rather self-harm.
All secrets are untellable;
Even deadly.
After all why would you,
Give others a chance to destroy you?
All secrets are secrets,
Tightly bolted shut.
Until one day someone walks in,
And screws your feelings up.
I have a fantasy for the night;
Prove me wrong,
It never felt so right.
You don’t know where I come from.
I have a fantasy that feels right;
Deep, dark, devils,
I succumb without a fight.
Falling into a bed full of nettles.
I have a fantasy that looks bright;
Sunny sunshine, autumn lights.
Reality is a monster,
It crashes in filled with fright.
Okay, you want to talk about it now? Is this God’s cue for me to reflect upon myself as well? I will never understand You for creating me this way, but I want to believe in the existence of a reason.
Opposites attract. Or do they? Are they meant to attract for a short period of time before they repel forever? Or are they meant to stay together?
Similarities attract. This phrase is nonexistent. Or is it? Do we really have to live life in a question mark?
And how do you stop it from happening? How do you prevent that deadly rush of dopamine that sends you on a roller coaster that starts from the peak and then dips all time low before it ends abrupt?
How do you know when is the go ahead? False signals? Hidden signals? Imaginary signals? Oh, were you actually hoping for signals? Sorry.
Give up? Give up yet? No? Why not?
Hold on? Hold on still? Yes? Why yes?
Do you pretend? Do you be frank? Discreet? Feigned oblivion?
There are times when you couldn’t go any further
down.
There are times that you will
drown.
What truly defines if you are
strong,
Pick yourself up from where you fell and
move on.
These are the times that you can’t
push.
These are the times you accept that you
lose.
Accept that if it’s
meant to be,
You will find a
way to live.
Until the day you feel a click in the lock,
So unexpectedly.
You’ll know the lock you’ve been trying to pick all your life,
Just needs the right key
That you’ll stumble upon
Sooner,
Or later.
She was afraid,
Probably a little too shy.
Maybe that’s how she was made;
Too damn scared to fly.
You were a little rude,
Probably not that nice.
She probably thought it was too crude;
Couldn’t even swallow her rice.
Through all your endless complains,
Critical to her name.
When your upper lip curled in disdain,
Her world – a state of shame.
You were flaming hot,
Overlooked her eyes.
You wouldn’t have thought;
They turned to ice.
They say,
Let go of what you love.
But seeing them happy without you,
Breaks your heart.
They say,
Let go of what you love.
It it’s meant to be,
They will come back to you.
I say,
Why can’t I have the best of both worlds?
If true happiness comes after a heartbreak,
How would I know if it’s real?
I say,
What if I can’t let go,
Because the minute I do
It will never come back?
Is it worth holding on
To something without a promise?
It is worth wishful thinking
For something you know impossible?
The world is invalid,
Happiness is just temporary.
At the end of the day,
Everything goes.
; 