I bleached my hair last weekend.
See, the difference between bleaching and dyeing your hair is that hair dyes can, and will, fade — but not bleach. Bleaching your hair is permanent, an act of removing pigment from hair strands, as opposed to hair dye adding pigment. Removal always feels more permanent than addition. Loss is always more acutely felt than gain.
Have I lost you? By all logical means, I never had you to begin with. Everything was so unintentional in the beginning, until it was not. How do you pinpoint the turning point between casual conversation and a more intimate, intentional exchange? That is like finding the exact point at which you go from awake to fast asleep; slowly, and then all at once. Now you know almost everything about me and I know things about you that you took a long time to tell your closest friends.
Icarus drowned because he came too close to the sun; I am Icarus. You are the sun and you are the rain, you are clarity and you are calamity. And I, through it all, felt you — your presence and your absence — all at once.
People have noticed the hair, but they do not ask why. I changed my hair colour so that maybe your colours could bleed and blend with mine.
